The Power of Pants

Recently I’ve been thinking a lot about pants. I’ve been thinking about what they mean, what they represent and what they can do.

Often when clients are dealing with a crisis, loss, or just feel weighed down by their emotions, they will tell me they don’t know how they will get through it. This is understandable and common. When our negative emotions are so strong and raw, it’s hard to remember that we can feel differently in the future, or that we have felt differently in the past. When a client tells me they don’t think they can get through something, I often respond, “You already are getting through it. You’re breathing, you’re sitting, you’re here, and you’re wearing pants.” That last part usually brings some humor into the room, and while that is some of my intention, I’m not saying it just to be funny. Putting on pants, or a dress or a skirt for that matter, is important.

Asking about Activities of Daily Living, or ADLs, as they are often referred to in the mental health field, is an important part of the assessment process. Do you shower? Get your laundry done? Can you cook, keep your room or home reasonably clean, and get yourself dressed every day? It sounds basic, and some clients initially laugh when I ask these questions. However, for anyone whose symptoms have been so overwhelming and intense that they are not able to keep up with ADLs, it is no longer possible to take them for granted.

On top of ADLs, many people go to work, take care of children, hand in research papers on time, and remember to call their mother for her birthday, even when depressed, during crisis, or while managing intense anxiety. Despite the intensity of these emotions, things get done. These people, who would be classified as “highly functioning” by a therapist, doctor, or society, usually do not give themselves enough credit. I’m often reminding clients that despite how bad they might feel, every morning they get up, put on pants, and start the day. There is a power in this, The Power of Pants.

Anxiety, depression, grief, loneliness, an unhealthy relationship or a bad job can all have a way of waking you up early, yet make you feel like you cannot get out of bed and face the day. Stepping out of bed, getting out of the pajamas or sweatpants, and putting on pants is a powerful step.  Even if the step feels very small, even if all you do is get into pants and sit on the couch to read, or go for a walk around the block to get coffee, you have taken that first step, which is the hardest one. The Power of Pants takes some of the power away from your symptoms, reminds you that symptoms do not have to define you, and shifts the narrative towards hope. Even if the shift it subtle, it is profound.

If nothing else, put on pants and see what happens.